The night before the big night...

Well, it's great to be home in the middle of the action. One more day until my sister's big day! The house is buzzing with movement, conversation and people. Everyone is tired, but an anticipation tired, which is better than an exhausted tired. Having something to look forward to makes being tired worth it. I've been answering the phone, drinking coffee, visiting and reading People today. It doesn't feel much different than other days, but there is more to see, talk about and do. Soon we are leaving for the rehearsal. By this time tomorrow, the wedding will be over and we'll be about to start the reception. It's hard to imagine things passing so quickly. I don't feel to excited yet, though it was hard to sleep the past few nights. I'm realizing that life's greatest memories happen on ordinary days.

- OCG

Wedding countdown...

Today is sunny and beautiful. The sun is still out. The day isn't over yet. I had very little sleep last night. Without thinking, I drank pop at around eight 'o'clock and was up until five o' clock. Thankfully I got to sleep in until ten 'o'clock. I got lucky. Most days, I get up earlier. I'm glad I didn't have to be at a meeting or catch a bus. I watched a lot of TV but couldn't recall exactly what shows in the morning. My mind was fuzzy. I remembered watching a show on women who didn't know they were pregnant. They seemed a bit off in their interviews or maybe really out of touch with their bodies. Next was a show on obese women giving birth. It made me sad to think that their lives were so complicated. All the women featured delivered healthy babies. For the rest of the night I watched parts of the news and sitcoms.

This morning was low-key. I talked to Mom and the Observer. I ate a salad for lunch and got my stuff packed to head home for my sister's wedding. I bought a pink lady apple from the grocery store. It was my first pink lady and I enjoyed it. The name makes me smile. I went to a top-notch grocery store that is a bit far from my apartment. I wanted to take advantage of the sunshine. The grocery store has a funky upstairs sitting area. I like the way the sun shines through the window.

I can't believe my sister's wedding is only two days away.....crazy! It will be here whether we are ready or not. I'm worried about my dress not fitting. My jeans are tight, which isn't a good sign, but we'll deal with whatever happens. My sister is getting married and nothing will spoil that.

- OCG

Wandering, pondering, recognizing, and liking...

I've been a wanderer today. First I went to the grocery store. My mission was to buy TTC tokens. They were sold out. I pondered over what to buy. I pondered between cherries, cucumbers, apples, yogurt or watermelon. I went with yogurt and watermelon. I ate them both for lunch. I went to the St. Lawerence Market and bought red leaf lettuce. I always wonder around there. Every day at the market is a bit different - or maybe the more I go, the more I see. I was going to buy Mom some kitchen accessories, but decided to hold off. I have a lot to bring home when I leave for my sister's wedding tomorrow. There will be other times where I will have more space to bring Mom gifts. Sometimes I think I go to the market to observe instead of buy. I see so many interesting and unusual things and rarely buy more than one item. It's usually something boring like lettuce or fruit, but it's still a fun trip.



After the market, I went to Union Station to get a GO bus schedule. My attendant who is helping me on my sister's wedding day needs a schedule to decide her route. I don't know where exactly she is coming from, so I picked up a schedule for every route. When in doubt, pick every possible choice. I bought two lemon biscotti cookies. I love dipping biscotti in coffee, but I'm trying to stop drinking coffee after lunch. I sleep better. I tried to buy TTC tokens at Union Station but I thought it would be easier to buy from a store since the employee would have more time to slip them in my token purse.



I was a bit hungry again so I bought a vegetarian Jamaican patty. It was filled with corn, tomatoes and spices. I liked it, but I don't think it was very healthy. Anything with a pastry coating is usually not nutritious. I like the vegetarian better than the beef. It's too bad vegetarian Jamaican patties are so hard to find. I was full and my stomach rolled. Nature called.



On the way home, I saw the Observer's cousin. Out of his big family. she's one of my favourite people. His cousin is quiet but has a determination about her that is endearing. When she listens, I know she is genuinely interested. We only talked for a few minutes, but it was great to see her. Living downtown rarely affords the space or time to run into people I know. When I do see someone I know, I am reminded that I have connections with people around me. I am glad to be able to say so. Even better than simply running into someone I recognize is running into someone I both know AND like. When that happens, I am grateful. It's a small world, but not TOO small.



- OCG

Chilly, grumpy and itchy...

There are goosebumps creeping up my arms. I am wearing a very summer-like orange shirt. Maybe it's a bit too summer like. There is a windy breeze outside. It's quite cool. I had trouble sleeping last night. I have this tiny scrape between my little toes. It's itchy and annoying. I have no idea how it got there. I lie awake in bed thinking about how itchy it is and wishing I could scratch it. There is no way I could ever move my foot that far up, no matter how bad I would want to. I need to stop thinking about my itchy toes.

I am a bit grumpy today. I don't know why. Maybe I need sleep or another strong cup of coffee. The Observer bought me a bag of Starbucks coffee to make at home. It goes right through me. I enjoy it though. My whole refrigerator smells like coffee as soon as the door is opened. That makes me happy........

I wish I was in brighter spirits. It's only noon, so there's lots of time to cheer up and lots of coffee to drink.

Now it's evening. I had a sweet chat with the superintendent of my building. She reminds me that there are good people around me. I only need to pay attention. I talked to Mom and met the Observer for a quick visit and chat. We browsed the music store and had a quick dinner. I had a combo of three salads - quinoa, garden and fruit. It was yummy and fresh. Everything passes, right? (even grumpiness and chills.)

- OCG

A happier guy...

I ate a purple sweet potato today. I didn't even know those existed. The skin was a deep purple and the flesh was white. I bought the sweet potato because it was pretty. Honestly, I didn't know what it was when I picked it up at the market. Feeling adventurous, I thought I'd give it a try. The flesh was starchy, which told me it was a potato I was chowing on. I'll try most foods, except lamb or gamy meats. The thought of noshing on squirrel, horse, deer, dog or ox makes makes me squeamish. If I see a purple sweet potato again, I'm going to buy it. I want to buy fennel next. I've tasted it at the Observer's house and it reminds me of licorice. I want to learn what foods pair well with fennel. I've seen lots of fennel salads made on the food network. Pretty much anything can be made into a salad.

It's sunny today. There is a breeze which keeps outside from being too warm. On my way home from the grocery store, there was an elderly man in a wheelchair who looked like he was struggling with a younger guy. Both seemed to pulling at a cell phone. I hope the younger guy wasn't stealing the old man's cell phone.

I met the Observer for dinner yesterday. He was back to his usual, happy self. We went to the same chain restaurant where we had the horribly awkward dinner the day before but it was in a different location. The Observer was in very different spirits too. He was talking and enjoying nachos - his favourite pub food. Seeing the Observer back to his fun-loving self was a big relief. My behaviour wasn't very compassionate and know the Observer knows to tell me what is on his mind. We will have other struggles, but I learned something from our latest. Sometimes I need to let things roll off my back. The Observer is great at rolling along with life. I admire his easy-going approach and think he is entitled to get upset now and then.

After dinner, we went to a coffee pub that we used to think wasn't wheelchair accessible. After some exploring, we discovered a way in though the back door. I was pleased with our innovation. Nothing should stand in the way of going to a good coffee shop. I didn't have coffee there, but the thrill of getting inside the pub was as good as any coffee buzz.

- OCG

Not a happy guy...

Today is sunny and beautiful. It's breezy and refreshing without being cool or hot. This is my kind of weather. I woke up this morning feeling regret. Last night the Observer and I met. Our original plan was to see a movie. The Observer is almost always up for seeing a flick. He's also almost always in good spirits. Yesterday was different though. I could tell by looking at him that he wasn't very happy. The Observer didn't want to tell me what was wrong. Sometimes it's best to let people explain what is on their mind in their own time. We bought tickets to My Sister's Keeper. Time only permitted that option or Ice Age. We saw about fifteen minutes and the Observer asked if I wanted to leave. I knew right away that he didn't like the movie and wanted out. I was angry. I wanted to see My Sister's Keeper. I stormed out of the theater telling the Observer that not everything was about him. I was very upset and had trouble calming down. When I'm angry, watch out....

We angrily made our way to dinner where we hashed it out. Neither of us were hungry, but I didn't know where else to go. The Observer eventually told me that he was frustrated with his attendants. He was in a mood where nothing can be right. We all have those days....I wish I had been more understanding. I am sorry the Observer was upset and that I got so angry. He rarely gets grumpy. I often do. We went for Starbucks, but his heart wasn't into chatting. We know the managers of stores and the Observer didn't want to chat at all. He is normally the king of small talk.

The Observer and I talked. He is here.

Later...

- OCG

In a city of nuken futz...

I can't seem to warm up today. Being summer, isn't that weird? Most of us are trying to escape the heat this time of year. I've always been a bit of a deviant. My body temperature must reflect that part of my personality. My chills began after I drank two liters of Kool-Aid infused Kleen Prep. Choking the stuff down is getting easier. I guess it's like anything - the more we do it, the easier it becomes. I still don't enjoy it, but a girl has to poop, right? The last of the four glasses were the hardest. I took a bran and coffee break between glasses. All the Kool-Aid chugging produced a mediocre result. At least I know that I've done all I can do. Now it's up to nature. Come on bowels! Move!!!!! I sound like an old lady, but if writing my wish makes it happen, bring on the old lady ways....



The Observer and I went to the mall last night. Our trip turned out to be quite exciting. As we were leaving, there was a man rolling on the floor drooling. People stopped and stared but everyone kept walking. I felt a nudge from above. I went outside and told the Observer to call 911 because a man inside needed help. He did. Security came and talked to the dispatcher until emergency services arrived. They didn't understand that the Observer had 911 on the line for a few minutes. That must have been so frustrating and stressful for the Observer. I was proud of him. The Observer did the right thing. I learned in university that there is something called a "bystander effect" where people who witness emergencies assume that someone else has taken charge and they don't want to make a big deal. In reality, such assumption is so popular that there is a danger no one has taken action. The Observer handled the situation with far more calmness than I could of mustered. Hopefully the guy in trouble is OK.

On the way back to my apartment, a guy in his twenties walked straight up to me, leaned in close and asked me for a kiss. I firmly and loudly told him no. He was clearly drunk. People in this city can be a bit nuts.

We both bought sandwiches for dinner. I wasn't too hungry, but I'm starting to realize that not eating often leaves me famished and then I make poor choices. I've known this for a while, but sometimes I get so caught up in dieting mentality that I forget. It was relaxing to eat with the Observer. I'm so nervous that my bridesmaid dress will be too tight. I need to trust that it'll be OK. Even if my dress is too tight, we will sort it out. It's my sister's day and there are always ways of dealing with misfits. Look at how many people around me deal with huge issues every day...

- OCG

Always Looking Up...

Yesterday I finished reading Always Looking Up, the second biography by Micheal J. Fox. The Observer gave it to me for our four year anniversary. I skipped through the big chapter on politics as I am more interested in Michael J. Fox's personal life, not so much his political struggles. Micheal focused on maintaining balance in his life by making his family a priority while using his own struggles to inspire others in similar situations. While Always Looking Up was good, I preferred Micheal's first book Lucky Man. His first biography talked more about his childhood and rise to fame. A major portion of Lucky Man focused on the devastating blow of Micheal J. Fox's Parkinson's diagnosis. He repeats how he recklessly lived his life - not thinking about consequences or time until he had no choice but to face his own vulnerability in the form of his disease.



While receiving news about a life changing illness would be devastating to anyone, when it happens to a celebrity, we are reminded that they are human. They may be notorious and rich, but when it comes down to it, they are here for the same reason as any one else - to enjoy life. Micheal J. Fox explained that the title Always Looking Up has two meanings. Micheal J. Fox is very short forcing him to be frequently looking up and the title is always fitting because he tries to focus on positive matters. Always Looking Up reinforced to me how we never really know what is ahead, but we keep moving as life changes. The last chapter entitled Are We There Yet? describes a road trip Micheal J. Fox takes with his oldest son. They have no set destination, just the goal to enjoy the ride. Micheal J. Fox reflects on his son and how Parkinson's occupies little of his young mind, because he enjoys his father and life. When Micheal is asked, "Are We There Yet," he doesn't give his son a definite answer, instead telling him to go outside and explore. After finding some keepsakes from the beach, his song returns and keeps travelling with his father.



I thought the last chapter was the best part of Always Looking Up. Life is a journey. We move. We stop. We savour. We remember. We pick up. We keep going. Micheal J. Fox proves that if we are going to move forward, which is our only option, we must always look up.

- OCG

Canada Day...

Canada Day fell in the middle of the week. I liked the way it spilt the week in half. People who work regular jobs might not have shared my feeling. A mid-week holiday makes it hard to celebrate by going away unless one takes the whole week off. Yesterday the Observer came to see me. We went to our favourite Italian restaurant called Hot House. Going there has become a regular summer time tradition. The trip there gives us a chance to enjoy being outside. We were both starving. Hot House had a buffet, but we stuck with the regular menu. The Observer said he would have liked to opt for the buffet. The choices looked delicious, but I'm the type of girl who enjoys a sit-down dinner. The Observer started with an anti-pasto platter. He shared his flat breads and a chewy leek with me. Leeks remind me of onions.

I pigged out on bread and ordered my usual salad with shrimp. It took me forever to eat. The Observer finished his chocolate cake while I was still working on my salad. I'm a super slow eater, but I do love my food. Hot House was packed. We sat close to a table that was celebrating a birthday. Everyone looked like they were having fun. We left right before a live jazz band started playing. On our way home, we stopped at a coffee shop. The Observer had a stomach ache. Our barista was very helpful. My coffee always tastes better when it's served by someone kind and friendly. I hope the Observer enjoyed his smoothie as much as he could with his sore stomach.

We were disappointed that the Observer had to catch his bus home before the fireworks started. When we got home, I told him to wait in the lobby while I got him an address he needed. Once in my apartment, I got the address and quickly swallowed my pills. As I pushed the elevator button, the fire alarm went off disabling the elevator and preventing me from saying goodbye to the Observer. He called to say he got on his bus. I noticed the Observer forget his hat. I'll see him in one more day, so he's not worried.

July started on a good note. Once my sister's wedding is over, I won't know what else to think about. The big day will be come and gone before we all know it. I suppose that's all the more reason to enjoy the day when it finally arrives.

- OCG

Good tunes...

Last night I popped Van Morrison's greatest hits into my CD player. I love his music. Listening to him makes me think of my Dad. It rained off and on all day. Given the gloomy weather, I needed something both calming and edgy to listen to. I love the song Moon dance. Brown Eyed Girl is another classic that I can hear any time of day. Van Morrison has such a mellow voice that I can the volume way up and my music isn't too loud. One of my attendants who is often grumpy and finds any reason to complain saw the Van Morrison CD in my CD player. She's quite the busybody too, it seems. She asked me if she could turn it on while she did my housekeeping. Of course I agreed. Anything that keeps my attendant quiet is good. She was swaying her hips which made me laugh. Even the most uptight people will loosen up with the right song.



At Starbucks last night, I sat and eavesdropped on conversations around me. I got a bit cold so my coffee was soothing. A girl who ordered an iced coffee really wanted a seat. When she walked in, she asked me if the chair beside me was free. It was, but by the time she returned with her drink, the seat was taken. I felt bad, but she was a stranger. It didn't take her long to find another seat. I like coffee shops, because they are a place to be around people without having to say much. I stopped by a pharmacy that I just stared using to fill my prescriptions. They charged me a drug dispensing fee. My old pharmacy never charged me a penny. I was a little upset, but then I though about how lucky I am to live in a country where I do not have to pay the full cost of my medication. Yes, we have harsh winters, but at least we get a break when we get nasty flues and viruses.

- OCG